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  “Me either,” Haley agrees.

  “I don’t want to date you. I want to sleep with you.” Penn smiles triumphantly. “Let me know what day works for you.”

  “The sixth Sunday of the month. I’ll sleep with you on the sixth Sunday of the month.” Haley rolls her eyes. “Now, back to the person who is getting laid.”

  “I think you misunderstand my enthusiasm for sleeping with you as I’m not getting laid.” He leans toward her, smirking. “I promised to be practiced up when you call.”

  “Penn, I’m not calling. Not now. Not ever.”

  In typical Penn fashion, he shrugs like he doesn’t care. He leans back in his chair and looks at me. “Does all this jabbering mean things are going good with you and Miss New York?”

  “There are days I hate you,” I tell him. “Today is one of them.”

  “Why? I just asked a question.”

  “Why don’t you get a coffee or whatever it is you came here for and get to the jobsite before you get fired?” I ask. “And tell Matt to have the lumber taken off the pallets before I get there.”

  Penn stands up. “Fine. But let me point out this morning that there are days when I think you really are your father’s son. Today is one of them.”

  “Go to hell.” I chuckle.

  “See ya up there,” he tells me. “See ya later, Haley.”

  “Goodbye.”

  Once Penn’s gone, Claire comes over again. “He drives me insane.”

  “Penn? He drives us all insane,” Haley notes. “What did he do to you?”

  “We have this friends-with-benefits thing going on, as you all know. Well, he stood me up last night, and I found out he was with Brittney. Can you believe that?”

  “Yes,” Haley and I say in unison.

  Claire shakes her head. “I’m cutting him off. If I want a booty call, I’ll call someone else. He’s not that good.”

  “Don’t let him hear you say that,” I kid. “He’ll feel like he has to prove a point.”

  She rolls her eyes but watches as he pulls out of the parking lot. “Asshole,” she grumbles before turning back to the kitchen.

  I sip my coffee while Haley checks her phone. She’s not used to having a couple of extra hours in the morning. Dad grabbed Mia early for a day of koi shopping, which thrilled my daughter to no end.

  As the hot liquid wakes me up, it becomes clearer how I feel. And what I want. And what I need to consider.

  “What are you thinking?” Haley asks, bringing me out of my haze. She points at me. “You have that la-la land look on your face that scares me.”

  “Do you think Mia is happy?” I ask her.

  “Definitely. Happier lately than usual, even. Why?”

  All the pieces of my life come together into one cohesive puzzle in my heart. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve identified all the sections of my life and have them all within my grasp. I almost can’t believe it.

  “Dane . . .”

  “Let me ask you a girl question,” I say, setting down my drink. “If you didn’t want to be serious with a guy, you wouldn’t spend a lot of time with them, right?”

  Haley grins.

  “Like, you wouldn’t have dinner with him and his kid. Help tuck the kid in. Fix her hair. That kind of thing. You wouldn’t do all that unless you saw a future with them. Does that sound legit?”

  “Totally.” She lays a hand on mine. “Mia aside, I’ve never seen you this happy. In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you like this. It makes me wonder if the Dane I knew before all this was really just a shell of you.”

  “I am happier. I wake up and don’t just think about Mia and what she needs for the day. For once, there’s something there just for me. That probably sounds selfish, but it’s true.”

  “Selfish?” She laughs. “No. It sounds like you’re a man with needs and you’ve found someone that might meet them.”

  “I just keep thinking what it would be like for us to wake up in the same house. For Mia to have a mother-like figure in her life—no offense, Haley. We love you.”

  She holds up her hands. “No offense taken. That’s a job I don’t want. You know that. I will give that girl whatever she needs, but I’d rather not take on the duties of a parent. Besides, she needs someone in her corner. I’m not around all the time.”

  Nodding, I sip my coffee again. “I need to figure out a way to keep her here.”

  Haley cheers, then clamps a hand over her mouth. “Yay,” she whispers.

  “You’re nuts.” I throw a tip on the table and head to the front. I toss a ten-dollar bill on the counter and take the bag with my name spelled out across the front. “Thanks, Claire,” I call out to her in the back.

  “See ya, Dane.”

  As I walk by the round table by the door, I pause. “Thanks for listening, Haley.”

  “It’s why you pay me the big bucks.”

  With a spring in my step, I head into the warm summer air with a head full of ideas.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  NEELY

  Madison! Point your toes!” I call out as she lands her tumbling pass. “No. Do it again.” Jogging over to her, I put a hand on her shoulder. “You can do better than that. Remember—you perform like you practice. Habits are built here, when you’re doing it for yourself and no one is watching.” I work my head side to side. “Except I’m watching, and you have to do it again.”

  She sighs, but smiles. “Okay. I’ll try again.”

  “Good girl.”

  I get out of her way and watch as she readies herself at the opposite end of the room. She inhales and then sprints a few feet and begins her tumbling pass. This time, as she flips through the air, everything is nearly perfect.

  “Great job,” I tell her as she looks my way. “Very, very good, Madison. I knew you could do it.”

  “Thanks, Neely.”

  The girls work in little groups, each focused on a certain element Aerial feels they could improve on. I love the team-building aspect of the groups. It lets the girls see they aren’t the only ones struggling in an area.

  After surveying the practice pods, as Aerial calls them, I head to the water fountain for a quick drink and almost run into Aerial herself.

  “Hey, you,” she says. “I heard you yelling at Madison. I’m glad you did that because that second pass was awesome.”

  “You’ve got a great group of kids here. They take criticism well. They work hard. They have positive attitudes, for the most part.”

  “Come into my office for a second, will you?”

  I follow her inside and lean against the wall. “What’s up?”

  She fights with the words she wants to use. “I know you said your heart isn’t here.”

  I shift my weight back and forth. That was certainly true when I said it at a time that feels like a lifetime ago. My heart was very much rooted in New York then. Now? I’m not so sure.

  “If you ever wanted to stick around,” Aerial says, “I’d love to talk to you about taking over the gym.”

  “What?” I ask, shoving off the wall. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m getting old. I still love the kids and will always want to be a part of the learning environment here. I don’t think I could exist if I didn’t. But there are lots of days, Neely, where I don’t want to deal with the rest of it.” Her shoulders sag. I can see the exhaustion, the years of worry and wear written on her face. “But what do I do? I’ve spent my entire life building this gym. We have the Summer Show that’s basically a tourist attraction for the whole town at this point. We have the competitions in the winter that keep a lot of little girls, and some boys, working hard and staying out of trouble. I don’t want to walk away and just shut this place down. I’ve worked way too hard at it for way too long to do that.”

  I look at the floor, trying to replay that through my mind. “You want to retire?” I ask. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  “I’m saying I want to walk away in a l
arge way. But I want to hand this place off to someone who will love it and care for it as much as I do. And honestly, you’re the only person who will do that.”

  “Aerial, I’m flattered,” I say, still unsure if I’m hearing this right. “But I can’t take over the gym.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m honored, Aerial. Truly. This is your baby, and for you to think I could do it justice, even partially, is one of the nicest things to ever happen to me.” I stop talking and look at her again. “I’ll think about it. I’ll see what I can do. But I still have a lot of irons in the fire up north, and I’m not convinced that’s not where I should be.”

  “But you aren’t convinced you should be either.”

  Glancing around the room, I see the trophies from years gone by. I see the pictures from teams and students and handwritten letters sitting in frames. All of that is nice, but that isn’t what Aerial is asking me to take over. She’s asking me to take over the heart and soul of the gym.

  My mind floats to my apartment in the city and all the things there. If I go back, I’m going back to things. A job. A subway pass. A rack of shoes I can barely afford because rent is so freaking high.

  I’m not going back there for the heart and soul of the place. Maybe that means something.

  Maybe it means something, too, that when I think of my life there, it feels shallow. There’s no color like in Dane’s house, no laughter like at the gym. It’s a bleak, monotonous life that isn’t as appealing to me as it once was.

  “I won’t keep you waiting long,” I promise. “I have a lot to think about.”

  “Absolutely. I’m honored you’d consider it, Neely.”

  I pull her into a big hug before letting her go.

  “Okay,” she says. “Enough about the gym. What’s happening with you and Dane?”

  I sigh. “I don’t know.”

  “I’ve been seeing you with him here and there. Mia acts like you’re best friends. You should’ve heard her in here before you got here tonight, telling everyone you were taking her to Manicure Day.” Aerial stops. “Do you know how much that means to that little girl?”

  “I think so.”

  “Many women wouldn’t have been able to accept her like you have. It shows your grace.”

  “That’s silly,” I say, waving her off. “Mia’s a great kid. She can’t help the circumstances in which she was conceived.”

  “Again, not everyone would see it like that.” She picks up a few papers on her desk and puts them on top of a larger pile. “Based on what you just said, I’m guessing you still might leave town?”

  “I’m so torn, Aerial,” I admit. “There’s a growing part of me that thinks I could be happy here. Mom is here. Heck, I even like Gary. It’s so beautiful here, and I love seeing Claire and Matt and Penn . . .”

  “And Dane.”

  “And Dane.” I grin. “But if I do that, if I stay here, I fear I’ll always feel robbed, because what am I going to do here, Aerial? I can run the gym for you. I could pick up some freelance work somewhere, probably. But how am I going to feed that part of my soul that needs to do something . . . else? And does that mean I’ve wasted my entire life up to this point if I don’t go back?”

  “Maybe everything you’ve been through so far was to prepare you for this? Or something else, even if it’s not this.”

  I look at her honestly. “Or maybe I need to realize this is a honeymoon phase and it won’t always be like this here. With Dane or the gym or even Mom. It’s all new and fun, but it won’t always be.”

  “Sounds like you have a conundrum.”

  “It feels like it too.”

  “Let me know what you decide,” she says. “But my fingers are crossed you decide to stay home where you belong.”

  “Thanks.” I laugh. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out. “I need to take this.”

  She gives me a wave as my spirits sink like a ship. Hustling outside, I wait until I’m alone before I answer. “Hello?”

  “Is this Neely?”

  “It is.”

  “This is Frank Selleck. How are you?”

  My old boss’s boss. His voice rings through the line. It feels like forever since I heard it, but also like we just spoke yesterday. We used to get together about big projects or to brainstorm. There’s a warmth to his tone that makes me relax a bit, but I still sit on a picnic table while I gather my wits.

  “I’m good, Frank,” I say, clearing my throat. “How are you?”

  “Been better, been worse.”

  Mia waves as she trots off with Keyarah and Madison. I wave back.

  “I’m calling you for a few reasons,” Frank says. “For one, I’d like to apologize.”

  “For what?”

  “When the résumés came across my desk for the new magazine, I assumed incorrectly that you already had a position there. Mark and I had talked extensively about putting you in charge of the Creative Department, so I assumed your résumé was sitting there as a protocol thing, not for actual consideration. Your vision really shaped the entire concept of what we’re looking to do, and I felt you, above everyone else, myself included, were the best choice in leading our company into this new sector.”

  The phone almost slips from my hands. His words are drowned out by the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

  “Well, thank you for that vote of confidence,” I reply. “It’s too bad I wasn’t selected to work on the new project at all.”

  “That’s the second reason I’m calling, Neely. Not promoting you was an oversight on our part. On my part. I’ll take responsibility for it. But I also have to take responsibility for correcting wrongs, and not having you leading that team is definitely a wrong.”

  “What are you saying?” I ask. I pick out a little pebble on the ground and stare at it.

  “I’m saying we want you back. I want you back. I don’t hold it against you for quitting for one second. I would’ve quit too. As a matter of fact, if you hadn’t, I would’ve been disappointed.”

  I hop off the table, unable to sit still any longer. “You want me back. How? In what capacity?”

  “I want you to lead the Creatives. I want you to direct our approach to this thing. What types of articles are we publishing? What images are we showing? I want you to be the one to present me with a final version of anything that goes out so I know it’s been through you first.”

  Tears sting my eyes as I realize what he’s saying. He’s giving me the one thing I’ve always wanted, the platform I’ve begged for. Prayed for. Quit for. He’s giving me the only thing I’ve ever set my heart on.

  A car backs out of a parking space in front of me and a horn honks. A window rolls down and Mia and Keyarah wave. “Bye, Neely,” they shout.

  My hand comes up, but it doesn’t quite move. I can’t move. I can only listen to Frank tell me he wants me back in two days.

  Two.

  Days.

  Before Manicure Day.

  Before the Summer Show.

  Before I have time to break this to Dane and Mia in a way they deserve.

  “I’ll give you ten percent more than we were offering for the position you applied for,” he says. “You’re worth it. This project depends on you.”

  I watch the car disappear from sight. But so do they.

  I shake my head to focus. “Can I also point out that Lynne stole my ideas and no one thought anything about that? And that it’s taken this long for you to even realize I’m gone?”

  “That’s not true, Neely. Your resignation came to my desk the day after it was filed.”

  “And my contributions to the company weren’t enough for you to call me before now?” I ask. “I gave everything I had to that company, Frank. I gave it my all for a very long time. And then this happens, and I’ll admit, I’m not really feeling valued.”

  “I’ll shoulder the blame for that as well. Your name has been on a sticky note since the day I realized you were gone. I originally thought it was a two-w
eek notice, which would’ve had you still here or close to it. I didn’t realize at the time it was effective immediately.” He blows out a breath. “I’m in over my head here, Neely. We’re trying to do a lot of things, trying to break down those doors you talk about all the time. But I can’t do it without someone who feels as passionately about it as you do. Come back. Help us. Let’s make a dent in this industry.”

  Those words are all I’ve wanted to hear since I stood in my cap and gown and received my diploma. If I don’t go back, if I don’t try, I’ll always wonder what I could’ve accomplished—wonder if I could’ve done all the things I wrote down in my journal with a sunflower on it that’s under my pillow in New York.

  “Can you be back in two days?” he asks. “I know this is impromptu, but we’ve committed to the launch dates, and I have to be sure we can pull them off.”

  A single tear rolls down my face as my mouth says the words my heart can’t. “I’ll be there, Frank.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  NEELY

  Hi, honey!” Mom greets me from the kitchen. The house smells like pie and roast beef. It sours my stomach. “I’m making a raisin pie for Mr. Rambis, but I made you a coconut cream pie too. So no jealousy, all right?” She pokes her head around the corner. “Honey. What’s wrong?”

  “Mr. Rambis is Gary to me now,” I say flatly. “We worked it out.”

  “That’s nice.” She watches me walk into the kitchen and get out a glass. “Neely?”

  I don’t look at her yet. I’m afraid I’ll cry. If that happens, she’ll probably panic, and her panicking won’t help anything.

  “I have some great news,” I tell her. Ice clinks into the glass before I fill it with water.

  “Great news is usually accompanied by a little more enthusiasm than I’m getting from you,” she notes. “Are you sure ‘great’ is the right word?”

  On any given day, this news is great. Life-changing, even. It’s what I’ve worked my whole life for. It’s not that the word is wrong by any means. It’s that I’m having a hard time making peace with it.

  I take a sip of the water. The cold rush slips down my throat. Instead of shocking me back to reality, instead of waking me up from the fog I feel like I’m walking around in, it chills me to the bone.